Gemini New Moon

No, I didn't inherit a French chateau

As I’ve been sending literary queries out into the void—hearing rejections, or worse, nothing at all—I’ve had the opportunity to work through a few triggers. Astrologically, May’s Scorpio Full Moon, Saturn at 29 degrees, and my Chiron return all coincided. For a hot minute, it felt as if every transgression I’d ever experienced was surfacing to be cleared.

(Let me say this: I love freeing myself. Being triggered is no fun, but becoming so uncomfortably aware of what’s holding me back is a path to freedom.)

As the latest rejection hit a nerve, several people tried to comfort me by bringing up Stephen King’s legendary stack of rejection letters.

Which made me think of Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

Back when I lived in the Bay Area, I used to listen to her on Sirius radio while commuting. One day, a caller described how slowly life accomplishments seemed to move for her. She’d also experienced significant trauma—something she was still actively healing.

Do you know what Dr. Laura said?

“It’s amazing that you’re actually doing what you are doing! You’ve had a special set of circumstances—obstacles 99% of the population won’t face. Look at how you’ve handled this: you’re healthy, okay, and for the most part happy. You aren’t hurting anyone. You aren’t dysfunctional. You are a good, kind, whole human being.”

That struck me. It was both compassionate and truthful.
I thought about how hard the caller was being on herself—and how I could stand to be gentler with myself, too.

What This Has To Do With A Chateau

You’re wondering what this has to do with a chateau, right?

In the ongoing dilemma of what John and I can both watch on Netflix (nothing too triggering for me, nothing too boring for him), we stumbled across Castle Impossible.

In this chateau-renovation show, a California woman inherits a French castle and renovates it with her partner. (They claim ‘no money’—yet somehow complete a luxury “bathing room” for under $2,000. WANT.)

As we watched a room being torn down and rebuilt, I reflected on my own feelings of rejection—how they’ve cut me, why they hurt, and what it takes to rebuild.

I didn’t grow up with a grandfather who would leave me a crumbling French chateau. In fact, I never knew my grandfathers. My paternal inheritance has not been material—it has been psychological.

I Am Enough As I Am

A thing I’ve noticed among those of us who’ve had traumatic upbringings:
We so easily fall into the belief, “I am not enough—just as I am.”

Like that caller on Dr. Laura, we can’t help but notice how others (who had more solid foundations) seem to move more nimbly toward their goals.

We tend to ‘forget’ that we’ve spent enormous time and resources healing. While others moved forward, we had to move backward in time—to tend to abuse, to rewrite limiting beliefs, to make peace with pain.

Even though we know we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others… we do.
It’s human. It’s normal.
We look around and wonder, how are they there and I’m here?

When you’ve had a different life experience—when you’ve been forced to feel more, struggle more, heal more—it’s easy to feel like you don’t belong.

Others might move through life with more confidence. We didn’t start with that.

And yet…

Eventually, an inner alchemy begins.
We become more emotionally intelligent.
We realize that early isolation gave us a deeply independent lens.
We discover that when life tests others, they falter—while we rise.
We’ve had to earn our well-being. We know the cost. We protect it fiercely.

That’s why I’ve developed an allergy to toxic people.
And why you probably have, too.

You do graduate from the school of hard knocks with invaluable strengths.

And still, that inherited belief—I’m not enough—persists, subtly shaping us.

It didn’t begin with us.
It came from somewhere compromised.
Healing it requires a lifetime of gentle self-love and patience.

Even the smallest setbacks can sting deeply.

And yet… even when rejection letters get to me, they don’t get to my core.
My human may still flinch, but my true self? She is deeply okay with all of it.

Gemini New Moon: Integrating Opposites

New Moons offer new beginnings. In Gemini, we’re invited to refresh our perspectives, learn new skills, and reconnect with wonder.

This is a time to integrate inner opposites.

In A Love Alchemist’s Notebook, I share a “Venus Alchemy Spell” where you play Alanis Morissette’s song So Unsexy (Alanis is a Gemini!) and dance with the very things that trigger you. You invite them in. You explore them.

You poke at the sore spots—not to punish, but to release.

You do it so that what once blocked you can move through you… and dissolve into light.

Why My Life Resembles a Hallmark Movie

No, I didn’t inherit a French Chateau.

But I did alchemize my life into something magical.

I’m with my soul mate. I live in a tropical home I love. I have dear friends. Creative work that nourishes me. A beautiful, simple life.

I had to rewrite nearly every false belief I’d ever inherited.

I don’t take any of it for granted.

At the foundation of this life?

Self-love. Self-compassion. And this truth: Life is a gift. Every bit of it.

When I reached out for external support, some of the feedback didn’t resonate. So I turned inward and asked: What’s my next step with this book proposal? The answer came clear: Relax in your own fulfillment. Then, I saw myself beneath a starlit sky, full of wonder. And I remembered who I really am.

That simple act opened the door to synchronicity: A book appeared. A conversation about that book sparked remembrance. I began remembering what I already knew. That’s Gemini magic, too.

Synchronicity. Curiosity. Inspired action. Right now, I’m taking this in deeply.

I hope this gives you something to hold, too!

Reflection Question: What part of you still believes you aren’t enough—and what wisdom does your True Self know instead?

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Books I’m reading right now:

• Parallel Universes of Self by Frederick Dodson

• The King’s Messenger by Susanna Kearsley

• The Cliffs by J. Courtney Sullivan