How Do You Know What You Know?
intuition is a practice you can learn. Join me?
maybe my best "you'll know what you know when you know it" look, circa 2019
John is going to the Congo… eventually. Why do you care? Well, bare with me.
Riding his enthusiasm about this impending adventure, I found a lovely Audrey Hepburn movie called The Nun’s Story (if you want to learn more about the Vesta archetype of devotion and selfless service- watch it. It’s a beautifully done film replete with many spiritual sisterhood themes). In the movie, Audrey plays a nun whose dream is to go to the Congo. But there are obstacles in her path -mainly the Catholic church’s insistence that her authenticity be snuffed out, first. Nonetheless, it’s a remarkable slice of life of what that version of sisterhood must be like. Personally, I am glad that I get to choose where to place my inner devotion, dedication- and that it has nothing to do with chopping off my hair and kissing the ring of an old dude!
Anyhow, when John first announced he was going to the Congo at the end of May it didn’t sound right to me. Not because he doesn’t go to crazy places- but it didn’t “sound” Right to my energy body. I felt he wasn’t going anywhere.
I paused, dropped down into my sacral area and felt into what hadn’t sounded right. It was this statement, “I’m going at the end of May.” I said, “Nope, that doesn’t feel Right to me. It doesn’t feel like you’re going then.” Immediately, he replied, “Yes, I am! It’s the only time I can go this year!” (John. He is so good at insisting on being right. He’s been an amazing teacher for listening inward).
“Okay,” I replied and dropped the topic entirely.
John kept planning his trip to the Congo, which as you might imagine is verrrry complex. I kept feeling that he wasn’t actually going.
…Fast forward to the weekend before he’s due to travel. The plane ticket is purchased, and hotel reservations made. The trip to the gorilla reserve (gorilla reserve OMG OMG!!!) booked, and an escort arranged- a man called Aristotle, LOL. Vaccinations are poked, and (mosquito) DEET purchased.
But his passport with a visa has yet to arrive. Even though it’s supposed to be here by now, it’s not. You can’t travel without one and so when it doesn’t arrive by Monday and he’s to leave Wednesday it becomes crystal clear: HE’S NOT GOING TO THE CONGO AT THE END OF MAY.
John has to cancel his plans. As you can imagine, he’s upset. Plus, the Congo embassy hasn’t returned his emails, so for all he knows his passport is lost. I felt for him. Do you want to know what came out of my mouth just then?
“It’s all for the best. You’re being protected by your guardians, guides- whatever you call them (actually, my very first impression was of his mother…that she somehow orchestrated this).” Given that I normally don’t talk about guides or guardian angels -and seeing as how I don’t consciously converse with them- it was strange to hear myself say this. It was a first for me.
A few days later, what do you think happened? We hear of a military coup that occurred in the Congo - one involving three Americans. All of them died.
Those are the exact days that John would’ve been there.
***
No, I’m not psychic. What happened here is something that wouldn’t have occurred years ago because I just didn’t know how to listen inward then.
Somewhere between the time when my Awareness expanded back in 2016, and the years that I began learning and then daily utilizing new tools to manage my high sensitivity, empathic abilities (messy! At first) and my energy (I felt awful so much of the time!), I became aware of my intuitive nature.
For me, this was not a seamless transfer of power from the ordinary into extra-ordinary. This was no slam dunk, friends. You may already know or have experienced this: an Awakening of Consciousness often does not feel clear, magical, or anything remotely resembling what you desperately want it to feel like. It can feel confusing and scary as hell. It did for me.
Yet as I navigated the hairy edge of my own sanity, and as I healed my highly conditioned relationship to being a Sensitive (in childhood I was told I was wrong for knowing things, and having an inward, sensitive nature), I began to understand the fact of my Sensitive Awareness opening up so wide also meant I had far greater degrees of access to what my sensitivity is capable of.
I also began to recognize that a core reason why we ALL don’t automatically listen inward, trust our intuition, understand how to listen to the guidance that feeling-sensation offers (not emotion, which is different- that’s energy)… has EVERYTHING to do with the way the inner feminine has been marginalized.
…Because the way I’ve been told: “NO. You can’t possibly know this.”?
You’ve been told that, too.
…The way I’ve had my feelings, knowing of TRUTH, consistently gaslighted?
(ummm….have you ever spent time with an average human? Those who are insecure, or feel threatened by it, will openly discredit Truth.)
…The way my physical and emotional realities were renamed as psycho-somatic, or seen as problems to be medicated and fixed instead of honored as sacred messages from my own Soul?
(the fact is: massive gaslighting occurs especially in conventional medicine. Many providers will tell you to listen to them instead of yourself.)
…Well, I had to go through that hairy Awakening - to get past and underneath all those voices telling me that I was wrong and to not listen to myself -in order to get back to listening inward, and finally trusting what I heard.
That’s why and how I know if I can do it, anyone can. We are all intuitive.
***
On a lighter note, it’s the Gemini New Moon! It’s a great time to realign with your own capacity for inner listening. Actually, every New Moon offers the cool opportunity to refresh your energies in an area of life, to rededicate yourself to something important to you, and this one is no different.
Listening inward is honestly the one and only thing I ever need dedicate myself to. Everything flows from being in this Right connection with myself. Right aligned decisions, knowing what wants to happen next (and what doesn’t), being in synchronicity, flow, divine timing...This is intuition at work.
Today, I have a beautiful relationship with my Intuitive Self.
It wasn’t always this way.
Here’s what I know about the other side:
If you’re too saturated with external energies, or conditioned voices in your head, it will be VERY hard to understand what your intuition is saying (she’s still here though!). If you consider yourself sensitive and are not managing and clearing your energy, you may be picking up on energies and even perceptions (yes, perceptions - a whole mindset) that is not yours. This will make it extremely difficult to know what it is you know.
Intuition, for me, is crucial to making good decisions. I ask, and I listen to myself. This is only possible when you have a clear connection to yourself.
Intuitive Energy Practice Invitation:
Do you want to do an experiment with me? This first week of the Gemini New Moon, decide to put your own inner listening above all else.
Decide to pause when something feels “off”. Take an extra moment to ask: What am I feeling, knowing, or sensing? Investigate the context of what has just occurred. The context is as important as the content; you are more connected to your environment than you may realize.
Become lightly curious about how YOUR own intuition works- the YOU who speaks in urges, knowings, palpable physical and sensory ways. It’s a diverse world and so (shocker!) intuition is not the same for everyone.
If this is all new to you, don’t feel pressured to act on it just yet (you will want to, eventually) - but for now just give yourself the space and freedom to explore this whole question of intuition.
If it’s hard for you to “listen inward”… decide to trim the excess noise in your mind, and environment. What is the fly buzzing around your head, distracting you from your peaceful center? Being overly involved in other people’s lives and energies, or spending too much time on news or social media, can be a huge block to receiving your own inner wisdom.
Getting to the point of being able to both listen to and trust your intuition requires you to practice using it. This involves being more intentional. Decide that you want to: listen to yourself. Especially to your embodied sensations.
Then, come back and share with me! On chat! See below.
P.S.- I just enabled “chat”. This is a conversation space exclusively for subscribers—kind of like a group chat or live hangout. I’ll post questions, videos and updates that come my way, and you can jump into the discussion.
To get started: download the Substack app right here.
Then, click on the button at the bottom that looks like two bubbles talking to each other. You also can enable push notifications to be notified of new comments. Note: chat is also available on your desktop -just not via email. If you need further help, here’s Substack’s Chat FAQ. Hope to see you there!
