Own Your Light

Reclaim Presence, Power & Self-Worth

It took me years to fully recognize and own my gifts—to say, “Yes, I am an exceptionally powerful creative, a gifted artist, a talented writer”… and actually mean it.

I couldn’t fully own it until I turned 50—less than two years ago!

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment my self-perception shifted. But like tides slowly washing over the same spot, revealing what was always beneath, it was a gradual and orderly movement toward inner liberation.

I remember experiencing the feeling of it, though, for the first time. I can see myself sitting on my front porch, fully imbibing the delicious symphony that is me. This feeling doesn’t have any conditions on it, no awards or accomplishments required. I felt expanded yet deeply grounded in my body—with an exquisite, new sensation of knowing exactly who I am.

I’ve had this moment many times since. Whenever I stray from it—usually due to an old survival belief or conditioned habit—I peel back another layer and return home to myself again.

Seeing Myself Clearly

Why fifty years to clearly see myself? Why couldn’t I ‘own’ my “gifts, value, worth” till now?

It’s not like I hadn’t been doing all the things; I’ve been myself my whole life! I’ve had degrees of creative recognition and real-world successes: published books, art, certifications and a professional identity that reflected my varied interests, skills -and offered a level of surety.

I had reached a level of awareness—until everything shifted again, bringing me back to square one. And you know what I discovered from this new vantage point? Concepts like ‘worth’ ‘value’ ‘self-confidence’ ‘security’ were constructs of the Ego - and while I could foreseeably forever chase these things, they had nothing on presence to myself.

Presence was powerfully bigger. It is simply listening inward, allowing what wants to arise, be acknowledged, and fall away.

This clear owning of all that I am and naturally possess, did not show itself until I let go of everything keeping me from my true self. My Divine self.

When I drop what is preventing me from seeing the Truth of who I am, I return to me. A return to clarity, and to common sense: Yes, I’m good. Of course I am! Yes, I’m gifted. Yes, I’m infinitely possible. Yes, I’m abundant.

Yes, I woke up.

me, awash in silvery moonlight, at my recent Tiffany & Co. event

A Transformative Venus Retrograde Story

Healing is a lifelong journey, unfolding in layers.

Though I return to this state described above, often, life continues to invite me back into deeper healing—to return to Truth.

When this Venus stationed retrograde (10 Aries), making a sextile to my Jupiter (11 Aquarius), I met with my developmental editor for the first time—an intelligent soul who believes in me and my work. Yes, she is doing work for me—but I would gladly pay just for the feeling of being believed in.

I was brimming with excitement (ooh, I wanted her to like me!). Our conversation flowed beautifully, yet an old discomfort arose: Was I being too much? Was I too eager to be adored? And if she didn’t like me… then what?

My body spoke up—with a racing heart, and an unease I’ve learned to listen to. When I engaged these surface feelings, another arose: A deep fear of being strung along with promises, and then abandoned, by a person I depended upon.

Why was this fear coming up? Oh. Her irregular email responsiveness had triggered an old pattern of my mother’s, who made promises and then broke them. This ended disastrously for me.

This current relationship was tricky for me to navigate. Were the feelings based in reality, why were they happening, and did they signal a misalignment? If so, I was willing to pivot. Or, was I projecting onto her?

One thing I continue to consult when considering something confusing are boundaries. When something feels unclear, I turn to my boundaries. I may not know what someone else is about, but I always know what feels right for me. My ‘I don’t like this,’ ‘I need that,’ or ‘this is no longer bringing me joy…’ is often all I need to know about a situation. So, I consulted my boundaries.

I could feel solid alignment (a big “We’re good!” in my intuitive sacral area) but our differences in communication styles triggered me, which wasn’t feeling good. After releasing painful old stored emotions (aka crying my eyes out), I got clarity about how to proceed. I authentically communicated my needs, and developed a back-up plan in case things fell through.

As I did, I could feel my load lightening, old layers of sadness and abandonment falling away.

Now, all is well. We are good. And vitally, I feel that I protected and safeguarded myself.

Girl Before a Mirror, Pablo Picasso, Paris 1942

VENUS RETROGRADE: March 2-April 12

Healing is a lifelong journey, unfolding in layers…

Shedding the layers that keep us from Truth isn’t easy. But the path itself is simple, because simplicity is where Truth lives. You simply feel your way through it.

This is true for all of us, especially now -during Venus’ retrograde cycle. You are familiar with Inanna’s descent into the underworld, right? As Venus/Inanna descends through different layers, at each new level she releases one more thing that she no longer needs. By journey’s end all that remains is essence. Essence is presence, bliss, true authentic self.

Because this true self connection is so precious, when you reach your Divine Self you know you must honor and protect that connection.

Astrologically, during Venus retrograde, you may:

· Redefine and communicate boundaries

· Clarify expectations with others

· Slow down and smell the roses

· Refine creative and financial priorities

· Take care of your kundalini and vital feminine energy

· Release layers of old wounding, for your healing

Venus descends into the underworld, shedding what she no longer needs, releasing what’s untrue, and reclaiming what is. At the final step, she embraces her Shadow. The Venus journey ends when you take whatever you’ve called ‘not me’, good or bad, and decide that it possibly is you.

…This includes what you tell yourself that you aren’t ready to embody, but deeply want to. The Golden Shadow is real -it’s what your Soul deeply desires.

I Am Here For It

When I looked around, I used to see others more talented than I. I no longer do this to myself. These days, when someone tells me I’m a multi-talented person, I don’t brush it off like a passing compliment. I let it land. I feel it in my body. I receive it—because I am finally here to receive it.

Because I’ve built a home within myself—one that honors my worth, my gifts, my light.

The other day, talking to a friend about my next book, I said, ‘I’m here for it.’ I meant it. I am here in a way I’ve never been before. Fully. Present. More here than ever before.

This doesn’t mean hidden layers won’t keep revealing themselves. Life is long, as is the path of healing. The journey of healing is long!

But you and I, we, are all walking it—together.

Reflection Practice: A Moment of Inner Recognition

Before moving on, take a deep breath and place a hand over your heart. Let yourself settle into your body.

Now, ask yourself:

What would it feel like to own my gifts fully, without hesitation?

• If I could see myself through the eyes of someone who truly loves and admires me, what would I recognize?

• What conditioned beliefs might be keeping me from claiming my full presence?

• What am I doing, and who am I with, when I feel expanded and grounded at the same time?

A Practice to Deepen This:
Take 5 minutes to write down everything you know you are naturally gifted at—no downplaying, no hesitation. If this is hard, imagine what your closest friend would say about you.

Read your list out loud. Let it land. Let yourself receive it.

Because, like Venus descending and reclaiming her essence, you are already whole!