The Softest Nudge

What finally becomes second nature with time and wisdom.

The holidays can be a dis-resonant time. Along with family gatherings (and their historical triggers and baggage), hopeful expectations, and acute feelings of loneliness, grief, and other unpleasant emotions that arise, those of us who are especially sensitive… feel all of it.

This season, I’m doing a few things differently.

I’m not feeling less; I’m still sensitive. I still empathically feel my neighbors’ despair (how I wish she would get therapy), the other neighbors’ anger issues, and our family’s emotional tendencies. But unlike the lukewarm holidays of yesteryear, my sensitivity tools have been sharpened by time and wisdom.

Here are a few tools that I’ve honed.

1. I put my emotional desires and needs first.

Raised to take everyone else’s wants and needs into consideration, integrating this has been crucial to my well-being. At times, I’ve literally had to remove myself from people and situations, and uncomfortably sit with the directive, “I am allowed to put myself first.” Initially, when uttered, this acted like a question. With time and practice, it has become a statement.

2. I create the energy they will jump into, not the other way around.

Ooh, this is a good one. How tempting is it for you to jump into the fray? The drama? The chaos of another’s emotion or mood—whether spoken or unspoken?

How tempting is it, for you, to fix or solve?

Friend, you will never be in your power or your center if you are busily playing ship cruise director, home hospitality manager, or hostess with the most-est.

If you are in their energy, by default, you will not be able to be in your own light.

What do I mean by this? Imagine that you are in another’s business—their energies, moods, and emotions. While preoccupied with them, you are not present to your own energy. But if you anchor into your embodied energy, and cultivate the solid habit of being in your light, when funk arises you naturally move away from it. Then, instead of being brought down by whatever is happening around you, you’re able to offer a new (and more attractive) light vibration for them to hold. Without having ever left your own energy!

I’ve taught a free meditation on this idea, and the response has been deeply affirming.

3. I make my pleasure a top priority.

Here’s where the rubber meets the road for me. If I’m not meeting my own needs—if I’m not caring for myself exquisitely well—I’m simply not enjoying myself. I’ve noticed that when I’m enjoying myself, I can be that “pool of light” that others want to jump into. And when I’m feeling really good in my body, those around me often want to up-level and feel really good, too.

Honestly, when I am feeling truly good, no one loses. It’s a win-win all around.

How different all of this is from how I was raised.

I think it’s a gift of wisdom—and of being in my fifties. I’m finally hitting my stride; in my mastery years, none of this feels difficult any longer.

Intuitive Invitation

So, dear reader, the softest nudge for you:

• What piece of hard-earned wisdom has finally become second nature for you in 2025?

• What skills are you still working on honing for 2026?

Remember, your first few attempts at changing a habit will be the hardest.

Yet I promise you: every single ounce of uncomfortable energy you put toward freeing yourself will end up being the most valuable energy you ever expend.

As we cross into a new year, I’m less interested in resolutions and more interested in what has finally settled into the body.

The wisdom that no longer requires effort.

The habits that feel like home.

And the places where liberation is still gently asking for our attention.

Here’s to a 2026 full of liberation.