I really loved the way you laid this out, and the questions you've posed. I've gotten better about people pleasing, but the other place I sometimes get caught is in culture pleasing--ie: my intuition says, "you know, you can just have a nice flow day, and not worry about getting things done." And the voice of my culture is like: "You need to MOW THE LAWN! You need to BE MORE BUSY." And I have to remember: my intuition is always right about having a flow day, especially if I lean into creative flow. It's the best! Thanks so much for writing this practical and magical piece!
I love those two questions! Getting past the initial people pleaser stage is so important, and allowing yourself to acknowledge that it’s not about how you feel about the other person, but how you feel about yourself in that moment… brilliant!
…funny, I was just now reading about the 10 gate of mine in human design (your specialty, I believe?)- which is self-love. I have a defined (sacral) channel 10-34. Forgive me if I’m not saying it right! According to what I was just reading a shadow of gate 10 is people pleasing. Both of the questions that came thru address/reflect this channel!
You’ve said it perfectly! (I also have gate 10, but mine is the 10-57 channel to the spleen). And, yes, the shadow of the 10 is people pleasing, so the gift of 10, even deeper than self-love, is the love of being you (if that makes sense). The 34-10 channel shows a drive to find yourself… to explore self improvement and development… to BE the best YOU that you can be 😊
I am loving how positive and affirming HD is. I just dove back in thanks to following d.a.y.l.u.n.a on IG and their new book- which resonated totally. Thanks for your validation and great way of seeing, too.
Great points and wise questions to ask, Jessica! Listening to my intuition definitely helped me "dodge" problems- the times that I did not, raised personal questions to not do again, esp people pleasing and hard on self. Some were pretty hard lessons. Being gentle with myself is a work in progress that I still am healing from with people who have betrayed, abandoned, lied, harassed, take from, etc. Letting go is an art...
Thanks, Robin. Being gentle on oneself, yes, it’s ongoing for me as well. That’s why I am so keen to notice and celebrate when I do it! From people who study neuro-plasticity, I understand that when we positively reinforce and dote on behaviors that we want to experience more of…they happen again.
OBSESSED with the 2 questions to get beyond people pleasing!! I can't wait to use them...probably will get the chance to later today, haha, to be honest, as this is such a work in progress issue for me and my Libra moon. Thanks, Jessica!!!
It already helped! I was about to do something yesterday I didn't want to do but then, when I was getting ready to go, I suddenly stopped and listened in. And changed course. And didn't go. And, paradoxically, not only was I happier for it, but so was my partner.
Ooooh! 💫👏🤩MAGIC! Thank you. I love knowing that you actually did this and experienced success!!!❤️
I find this is ALWAYS true when listening inward- everyone around us is happier for it. It’s downright paradoxical when this happens, as a reformed people pleaser,😅 it’s like, ohhhh, you mean all I need to do is listen to ME??? Ha! xx
I really loved the way you laid this out, and the questions you've posed. I've gotten better about people pleasing, but the other place I sometimes get caught is in culture pleasing--ie: my intuition says, "you know, you can just have a nice flow day, and not worry about getting things done." And the voice of my culture is like: "You need to MOW THE LAWN! You need to BE MORE BUSY." And I have to remember: my intuition is always right about having a flow day, especially if I lean into creative flow. It's the best! Thanks so much for writing this practical and magical piece!
I love those two questions! Getting past the initial people pleaser stage is so important, and allowing yourself to acknowledge that it’s not about how you feel about the other person, but how you feel about yourself in that moment… brilliant!
…funny, I was just now reading about the 10 gate of mine in human design (your specialty, I believe?)- which is self-love. I have a defined (sacral) channel 10-34. Forgive me if I’m not saying it right! According to what I was just reading a shadow of gate 10 is people pleasing. Both of the questions that came thru address/reflect this channel!
You’ve said it perfectly! (I also have gate 10, but mine is the 10-57 channel to the spleen). And, yes, the shadow of the 10 is people pleasing, so the gift of 10, even deeper than self-love, is the love of being you (if that makes sense). The 34-10 channel shows a drive to find yourself… to explore self improvement and development… to BE the best YOU that you can be 😊
I am loving how positive and affirming HD is. I just dove back in thanks to following d.a.y.l.u.n.a on IG and their new book- which resonated totally. Thanks for your validation and great way of seeing, too.
Such wisdom-filled advice!
Thank you, friend!
Great points and wise questions to ask, Jessica! Listening to my intuition definitely helped me "dodge" problems- the times that I did not, raised personal questions to not do again, esp people pleasing and hard on self. Some were pretty hard lessons. Being gentle with myself is a work in progress that I still am healing from with people who have betrayed, abandoned, lied, harassed, take from, etc. Letting go is an art...
Thanks, Robin. Being gentle on oneself, yes, it’s ongoing for me as well. That’s why I am so keen to notice and celebrate when I do it! From people who study neuro-plasticity, I understand that when we positively reinforce and dote on behaviors that we want to experience more of…they happen again.
OBSESSED with the 2 questions to get beyond people pleasing!! I can't wait to use them...probably will get the chance to later today, haha, to be honest, as this is such a work in progress issue for me and my Libra moon. Thanks, Jessica!!!
I love it. Thanks for letting me know that you’re obsessed. Libra Rising over here,…so yeah, I certainly get this. Feel free to report back to us!
It already helped! I was about to do something yesterday I didn't want to do but then, when I was getting ready to go, I suddenly stopped and listened in. And changed course. And didn't go. And, paradoxically, not only was I happier for it, but so was my partner.
Ooooh! 💫👏🤩MAGIC! Thank you. I love knowing that you actually did this and experienced success!!!❤️
I find this is ALWAYS true when listening inward- everyone around us is happier for it. It’s downright paradoxical when this happens, as a reformed people pleaser,😅 it’s like, ohhhh, you mean all I need to do is listen to ME??? Ha! xx